Someone described me as a strange paradox of feminism: Though I've often considered joining the military and I don't enjoy any of the typical "girly" novelties like shoes or accessories, I cringe whenever I hear women talk about equal rights. I thought I'd explain my position and why, exactly, I'm not in with feminism.
Reason Number One: It's unbiblical.
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."—Ephesians 5:22-24
If that sounds offensive, it's probably because the idea of trusting any guy enough to completely submit to him is scary. Which is ironic if you consider the advice at the end of another passage:
"For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."—1 Peter 3:5-6 (emphasis added)
Being a christian, though, I have nothing to fear—and am COMMANDED not to fear, if you read Isaiah 41:10—". . . fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God . . ." God doesn't promise any girl that she'll marry a man who will love her all her life, but He does promise to be with each and every one of us. When I get everything I need from God I shouldn't have a problem submitting to a godly husband because we'll both be serving God together. And if my spouse falls off the wagon I'll just have to learn how to submit to him up until he goes against the word of God.
—Keep in mind, too, the bible says "wives, submit to your husbands", not "women, submit to all men". Important distinction right there.
Reason Number Two: It's unfair.
Everything I've seen of the feminist movement would seem to indicate that they've lost perspective. There is no giving men the benefit of the doubt. If a show has too many male protagonists, it's sexist. If a man lets his wife make all his meals, he's sexist.
And I know what it's like not to be given the benefit of the doubt: I'm sure there are plenty of other girls who know what I'm talking about as well. It's that moment where you have a valid complaint and the male on hand doesn't agree with it, so he chalks your behavior up to hormones. (One guy skipped right to blaming my gender: "Oh, you're such a girl. Quit reading between the lines.") Infuriating, no? So why do we do the same thing to guys??? We don't use the "oh, you're so hormonal" excuse as often, but feminism still likes to devalue male ideas and decisions, usually with sexist accusations, which can be just as bad.
There seems to be this mentality that women are and always will be the underdogs, which naturally gives them sympathetic supremacy. They can get whatever they want in the name of equal rights. I feel like the feminists need to give it a rest and remember that men are people, too. Which leads me to my next point:
Reason Number Three: It's counterproductive.
Apparently being equal means being identical. "Anything you can do, I can do better . . ." But there are very few skills that can be assigned strictly to men or women: The moment you say women make better (indoor) cooks some guy will show his hand at baking; the moment you say only men can shoot, some chick will pull out a sniper rifle. There ARE, HOWEVER, SOME THINGS MEN DO BETTER, GENERALLY, THAN WOMEN, AND SOME THINGS WOMEN DO BETTER, GENERALLY, THAN MEN. And there's no shame in that!
(If you'd like the psychological/physiological picture, evidently guys have larger brains than women while women have a thicker film connecting their brain's hemispheres. Take that any way you like; I'm not sure what it means.)
I guess the root of this unisex career idea was meant to allow women access to as many jobs as they might like to take on. Which really isn't a problem, except that a) it's led to this idea that staying at home and raising a family is intrinsically demeaning, and b) it's apparently made women think that being equal to men means they have the "right" to indulge in all the same vices. Yeah . . . which means more and more "free" women just being free to be sexy. The image of an oppressed woman is a lady in a burka while the strong, independent woman has a neckline that continues to sink. And people wonder why men respect women less and less . . .
And that's the thing: Women's Lib has created a society in which women are basically free prostitutes with their pick of career. Men are too scared to oppose feminism but are fine with using the new "liberated woman" to their hearts' content.
Reason Number Four: It devalues men.
I guess I've already pointed this out to some degree, but still: Feminism devalues men. Rather than celebrate feminine roles like nurturing or raising children, it screams, "I CAN DO THAT JOB TOO, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" and pushes men aside in a mad scramble to prove itself. In the midst of this, men get the message that they're not needed.
Now, I have heard this or that said to disprove this or that stereotype of men and women alike, but I've never heard it said that men do not need to feel needed. Which is so cool! How neat is it that God designed the finer sex with a desire to be needed??? So when women insist that they can do everything on their own, guys lose their interest in supporting them. There is, after all, one thing women absolutely cannot do, which may serve as a man's last resort . . .
Summary
There are no perfectly defined roles of masculinity or femininity in the world. That's where we look to the bible: The husband plays Christ's role over the wife, who plays the part of the church. I don't see why women complain; I'd rather be the church than Christ any day!!! And we really have no excuse for our complaining, because we're not meant to be satisfied in our husbands but in our relationship with the genuine Article.
Furthermore, this game of sucking up as much "equality" as possible shows a complete lack of trust. Men will always be around. So will women. We kind of need each other. Best we band together, no? I just wish the feminist movement would give up the "You go, girl!" attitude and acknowledge the need to be kind and understanding towards men. Just because a few guys are absolute chauvinistic jerks doesn't mean we have to project our hurt onto the whole gender: THAT'S unfair. Besides, kicking up a storm over sexism in society only seems to illicit lip service (i.e., more tv shows with female protagonists, all of whom can't figure out how to button their shirts) and a hundred more jerks laughing up their sleeves.
I'm not a feminist because I want to be a strong, independent woman of God. My God takes care of me and validates me: I don't need to dress like I need any other kind of attention, and I don't need a husband unless God says it's time for me to marry. In which case I can only hope I wind up with a godly man who totally respects me and that I'll be a godly and submissive wife no matter what.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqF_PtugyBk
Reason Number One: It's unbiblical.
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."—Ephesians 5:22-24
If that sounds offensive, it's probably because the idea of trusting any guy enough to completely submit to him is scary. Which is ironic if you consider the advice at the end of another passage:
"For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."—1 Peter 3:5-6 (emphasis added)
Being a christian, though, I have nothing to fear—and am COMMANDED not to fear, if you read Isaiah 41:10—". . . fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God . . ." God doesn't promise any girl that she'll marry a man who will love her all her life, but He does promise to be with each and every one of us. When I get everything I need from God I shouldn't have a problem submitting to a godly husband because we'll both be serving God together. And if my spouse falls off the wagon I'll just have to learn how to submit to him up until he goes against the word of God.
—Keep in mind, too, the bible says "wives, submit to your husbands", not "women, submit to all men". Important distinction right there.
Reason Number Two: It's unfair.
Everything I've seen of the feminist movement would seem to indicate that they've lost perspective. There is no giving men the benefit of the doubt. If a show has too many male protagonists, it's sexist. If a man lets his wife make all his meals, he's sexist.
And I know what it's like not to be given the benefit of the doubt: I'm sure there are plenty of other girls who know what I'm talking about as well. It's that moment where you have a valid complaint and the male on hand doesn't agree with it, so he chalks your behavior up to hormones. (One guy skipped right to blaming my gender: "Oh, you're such a girl. Quit reading between the lines.") Infuriating, no? So why do we do the same thing to guys??? We don't use the "oh, you're so hormonal" excuse as often, but feminism still likes to devalue male ideas and decisions, usually with sexist accusations, which can be just as bad.
There seems to be this mentality that women are and always will be the underdogs, which naturally gives them sympathetic supremacy. They can get whatever they want in the name of equal rights. I feel like the feminists need to give it a rest and remember that men are people, too. Which leads me to my next point:
Reason Number Three: It's counterproductive.
Apparently being equal means being identical. "Anything you can do, I can do better . . ." But there are very few skills that can be assigned strictly to men or women: The moment you say women make better (indoor) cooks some guy will show his hand at baking; the moment you say only men can shoot, some chick will pull out a sniper rifle. There ARE, HOWEVER, SOME THINGS MEN DO BETTER, GENERALLY, THAN WOMEN, AND SOME THINGS WOMEN DO BETTER, GENERALLY, THAN MEN. And there's no shame in that!
(If you'd like the psychological/physiological picture, evidently guys have larger brains than women while women have a thicker film connecting their brain's hemispheres. Take that any way you like; I'm not sure what it means.)
I guess the root of this unisex career idea was meant to allow women access to as many jobs as they might like to take on. Which really isn't a problem, except that a) it's led to this idea that staying at home and raising a family is intrinsically demeaning, and b) it's apparently made women think that being equal to men means they have the "right" to indulge in all the same vices. Yeah . . . which means more and more "free" women just being free to be sexy. The image of an oppressed woman is a lady in a burka while the strong, independent woman has a neckline that continues to sink. And people wonder why men respect women less and less . . .
And that's the thing: Women's Lib has created a society in which women are basically free prostitutes with their pick of career. Men are too scared to oppose feminism but are fine with using the new "liberated woman" to their hearts' content.
Reason Number Four: It devalues men.
I guess I've already pointed this out to some degree, but still: Feminism devalues men. Rather than celebrate feminine roles like nurturing or raising children, it screams, "I CAN DO THAT JOB TOO, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" and pushes men aside in a mad scramble to prove itself. In the midst of this, men get the message that they're not needed.
Now, I have heard this or that said to disprove this or that stereotype of men and women alike, but I've never heard it said that men do not need to feel needed. Which is so cool! How neat is it that God designed the finer sex with a desire to be needed??? So when women insist that they can do everything on their own, guys lose their interest in supporting them. There is, after all, one thing women absolutely cannot do, which may serve as a man's last resort . . .
Summary
There are no perfectly defined roles of masculinity or femininity in the world. That's where we look to the bible: The husband plays Christ's role over the wife, who plays the part of the church. I don't see why women complain; I'd rather be the church than Christ any day!!! And we really have no excuse for our complaining, because we're not meant to be satisfied in our husbands but in our relationship with the genuine Article.
Furthermore, this game of sucking up as much "equality" as possible shows a complete lack of trust. Men will always be around. So will women. We kind of need each other. Best we band together, no? I just wish the feminist movement would give up the "You go, girl!" attitude and acknowledge the need to be kind and understanding towards men. Just because a few guys are absolute chauvinistic jerks doesn't mean we have to project our hurt onto the whole gender: THAT'S unfair. Besides, kicking up a storm over sexism in society only seems to illicit lip service (i.e., more tv shows with female protagonists, all of whom can't figure out how to button their shirts) and a hundred more jerks laughing up their sleeves.
I'm not a feminist because I want to be a strong, independent woman of God. My God takes care of me and validates me: I don't need to dress like I need any other kind of attention, and I don't need a husband unless God says it's time for me to marry. In which case I can only hope I wind up with a godly man who totally respects me and that I'll be a godly and submissive wife no matter what.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqF_PtugyBk
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